Asbestos Killed My Husband
By Lorraine Kember
He was only a child when it begun
- and he played as children do -
in his yard with his toy cars and tip trucks
But his sand was asbestos blue…
In December 1999, my husband and I were walking home
from a game of lawn bowls when I became aware of his shortness of
breath. I was surprised and concerned when he told me that he had
experienced this on several occasions. Believing this to be due to
chest a infection, I made a doctor’s appointment for him the
next day.
Chest X-rays revealed fluid on the lungs, over two
litres of which was drained, giving Brian immediate relief, but it
was a tense wait for the pathology results.Through the Internet I
had become aware of several conditions which may have been responsible
for fluid on the lung; these included asbestos- related diseases.
Brian had lived in Wittenoom as a child and I was
afraid of his diagnosis. Not wanting to worry him unnecessarily, I
did not mention my fears to him. I prayed that he had pleurisy or
pneumonia but the pathology results revealed that there were cancer
cells present.
When Brian finally received his diagnosis, my worst
nightmare became reality. He had pleural mesothelioma, a terminal
cancer of the lung caused by the inhalation of asbestos dust. We found
it inconceivable that the disease was the result of Brian inhaling
asbestos dust as a child and that it had lain dormant for forty-five
years before become lethal.
We were still reeling from the shock when, without
preamble, the young doctor gave his prognosis. His exact words were,
“Three to nine months, I reckon”. That he could say this
so unfeelingly amazed me. His total lack of compassion did not encourage
even the small comfort of tears. I felt as if Brian and I had been
shot and from that moment on we were waiting to drop.
Undoubtedly, were mortally wounded. We suffered shock,
disbelief, anger, helplessness and utter despair; in fact all the
symptoms of grief one feels when a loved one has actually died. Once
again we found ourselves with no control over our lives. This time
however, there was no light at the end of the tunnel. Our journey
through terminal illness had begun.
Throughout the course of our married life my deep
love for Brian and my determination to resolve difficulties had seen
us through many trials. I found it hard to believe that nothing could
be done to save his life and begun surfing the Internet for information
regarding mesothelioma, all the time praying for a miracle, hoping
against hope to find a doctor who had successfully operated on or
cured someone of it.
It was a sad realization to discover that for Brian
there were no miracles; however, I learned a lot and it helped me
to accept that he was dying. With my acceptance came a fierce determination
to ease his burden.
I continued to seek information regarding mesothelioma
and the pain and symptoms Brian would experience, due to the progression
of his disease. In this way, I came to understand the importance of
pain management and symptom control and realized that although I could
not stop Brian from dying – I could help him to live.
My acquired knowledge regarding pain and symptom management
enabled me to communicate with Brian and to understand the type of
pain he was experiencing and the intensity of that pain.
I was then able to work hand in hand with his doctors,
to bring his pain and symptoms under control. As my efforts resulted
in his improved quality of life, I lost my sense of helplessness and
gained strength.
Together, we achieved for Brian, a quality of life
few thought possible, considering the nature of his disease. Testament
to this, Brian survived for 2 years despite his prognosis of 3 to
9 months. Remained active and alert, drove his car for eighteen months
after diagnosis and was not bed bound until three short days prior
to his death.
Brian's courageous battle with mesothelioma came to
an end on the 24th December 2001, he passed away at home surrounded
by his loved ones. He was 54 years old.
Article written by: Lorraine Kember – Author
of “Lean on Me” Cancer through a Carer’s Eyes. Lorraine’s
book is written from her experience of caring for her dying husband
in the hope of helping others. It includes insight and discussion
on: Anticipatory Grief, Understanding and identifying pain, Pain Management
and Symptom Control, Chemotherapy, Palliative Care, Quality of Life
and Dying at home. It also features excerpts and poems from her personal
diary. Highly recommended by the Cancer Council. “Lean on Me”
is not available in bookstores - For detailed information, Doctor’s
recommendations, Reviews, Book Excerpts and Ordering Facility - visit
her website http://www.cancerthroughacarerseyes.jkwh.com
